my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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