Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
