just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
