You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize