The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
