not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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