If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
