time to smoke my breakfast
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
