You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A bitchslap is in order.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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