I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
