Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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