Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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