Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
