So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
