What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
