she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize