Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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