i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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