Church boner. Awkwardddd
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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