Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Farmville is her only friend.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
