Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
