I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize