If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
