If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
