what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
