What a fucking waste of an outfit
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
