I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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