She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
