FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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