Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
