Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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