I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
