I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
