In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
