I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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