in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
