just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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