Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My life is pants optional.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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