the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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