dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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