Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
smell my finger.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
