Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
