My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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