Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
