Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize