Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
