I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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