Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
