I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize