Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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