yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
