I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
