real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
