we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
