4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
