i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
