Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
