Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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