so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
