The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
